About four months ago, almost to the day, I fell off the face of the social media earth.

Originally it was because I was moving from St. Louis to Nebraska and starting a new job as director of marketing for Concordia University, Nebraska.

But then apartment my flooded. And then I had a pre-cancerous mass removed from my large intestine. And then I found out I had ulcerous legions on the lower part of my esophagus. So I was a bit distracted.

My circumstances were certainly not as bad as they could have been, but the whole ordeal was still enough to make me stop and think about who I am, what I’m doing with my life, and how I’m conducting it.

I’m grateful for the people who have welcomed me back with words of support. Many have asked me what I’ve learned, so I thought I would share a few things…

What’s right is not always what’s best

In the midst of the stuff that was going on in my life, the “best” solution for my career and relationships with people online probably would have been to suck it up, stay online, and share it all anyway.

But it wasn’t the right solution. I decided to take the finite amount of energy I had and invest it in my new position, in learning about my new staff, in getting my personal life straightened out, in spending time with my family, and in getting healthy.

In life, in business, there will always be hard choices to make. To me, it’s now clear that the right choice may not always be the best choice.

It’s good to question what we’re in it for

When I left, I was pretty focused on finding a way to make boatloads of money. But that was a stupid place to start.

Why?

Because it seems like everyone online is pretty focused on finding a way to make boatloads of money.

You will never be the next Seth Godin, or the next Gary Vee, or the next Amber Cadabra. But why would you want to be? Why not just be yourself and focus on making the most of what you’ve got?

For me, I think that means finding a way to use what I know about social systems and the Internet to help people in profound ways. I’m not sure what that means yet, but if you want to talk about doing something good for the world, contact me.

Meaning is still the most important thing (to me)

I’ve been isolated from loads of smart people ,so my ability to generate new ideas has suffered.

But I haven’t missed the hackneyed advice. You know the stuff: “let your passion be your guide.” I also haven’t missed the weird Twitter celebrity cults.

If you’re pushing content and playing SEO for the sole purpose of grabbing eyeballs (and dollars), good luck to you. People like Jeremy Shoemaker have made a killing.

But it’s not for me. I’d rather spend an hour talking about dead philosophers than ten minutes gaming the AdWords system.

I was always uncomfortable with positioning whatever I was selling as a “magic bullet” when I knew it wasn’t. I was always uncomfortable befriending people simply because they had something I wanted. So I won’t do it any more.

And maybe I’ll never make $100 million. But I know my life will be filled with meaningful interactions because that’s what I value, and that’s what I’ll pursue.

Keep learning about the people you love

A few weekends ago, my wife and I drove back to my hometown to hang out with my parents. And to shoot clay pigeons.

I’ve shot a gun all of twice in my life now, but I really enjoyed myself. And now I finally feel like my father and I (who have pretty diverse interests) have a thing we could bond over. We’ve haven’t had a discernable “thing” like this in years.

The whole experience taught me that no matter how much you think you know someone, there’s always something new to learn about them, about yourself, and about your relationship with them.

So now I’m in the market to buy a shotgun. Any recommendations?

I’m glad to be back

All in all, it’s better to be connected than not. I just needed a little more balance in life, and I think I’ve got that now. Thanks to everyone again for your warm welcome at my return.

-Andrew

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